Happy summer, Sir Loin. Are you also ready to sling sausages over your shoulder like a 20-pound baby (we don’t know many babies) and become the BBQ lord of grilling season? Do you have all of the spices, but none of the steaks, and all of the ambition to charbroil the entire herd this July? Well, you’ve come to the right meat grinder.
There are tons of places to buy meat online, all of which can save you time, money, and the emotional exertion of schlepping to the grocery store after work, and cradling your soon-to-charred sweating meats upon your own sweating meats, aaaaall the way home on the packed subway. NO! THANKS! We’re hot. We’re tired. We’re hungry. We’re ready to live a life where waking up to a rack of lamb on our doorstep is but a click away.
From charcuterie to ribs, bison to Baconcore goods and wagyu beef for the children (who are your children? can we join your family??), there really is a meat market in the Matrix for everyone. So hold onto your tongs, and swallow the red pill. It’s Prilosec.
Omaha Steaks is filled with so much more than its tasty (seriously, very tasty) namesake. The purveyor of meats has been in business since 1917, and offers a highly curated, digital smorgasbord of charcuterie, veal, sausages and seasonings; wine pairings, seafood, and everything you need to have a Pork Party. It’s allll here, folks; it’s like the Sephora of meat.
When Andrea Xu launched Umamicart, it was in the hopes of creating a one-stop-shop for folks to get Asian groceries delivered to their home, from fresh veggies to Calbee Honey Butter Potato Chips; chile crisp to monkfish liver, and hundreds of other ingredients that can be tricky to find in many US supermarkets. “I did research finding local suppliers that are farmed directly or work with farms, immigrant-led or Asian/Asian American-led,” Xu told TODAY, and her selection is a testament to that attention to detail and business ethos. We could spend ages refreshing the meat section, which is filled with everything from fatty pork necks to Silkie chicken. Endless inspiration here.
ButcherBox delivers 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, humanely raised pork, and wild-caught seafood directly to your door, so you can deliver it directly into your gullet without leaving the house. Plus, with its secure packaging, your meats are sure to arrive safe and sound. (In other words, your beef won’t be squashed.)
Crowd Cow lets you build your own box of meats and plan a delivery schedule so you never run out. It’s also an option to purchase piecemeal snausages, turkey, and sustainable seafood; plant-based proteins, duck and game meat, and more. Out of all the meat vendors, Crowd Cow’s site is also one of the most user-friendly; it feels like walking up and down the aisles of a Whole Foods right after the floors were cleaned and no one has effed up the produce towers yet. Go here to feel loved.
Ohhhh, Man Crates. This is a very holy place for the bacon bois and saloon nut munchers. The site is primarily marketed towards grilling accessory/dried meat seekers, Lacrosse players, and Dads in Oakleys. In other words: It’s your perfect summer 2021 avatar. We can think of no better offering to the Big Mouth Billy Bass gods than a fish grilling accessory crate, or by adopting the word “Baconology” into our vocabulary. Somewhere, Guy Fieri’s heart is singing.
“Humanely raised in low-stress environments,” the meat at Belcampo will sit well in your stomach, and in your heart. They believe that “healthier animals = healthier meat you can eat with confidence,” and all their “meat is organic, pasture-raised and 100% grass-fed, putting more vital nutrients and healthy fats in your diet.” Also, the lemon pepper chicken tastes like sunshine.
Once known simply as the “Meat Stop,” Rastelli’s has been on the grind since 1976 in New Jersey, and still takes its role seriously as the neighborhood joint. “The tiny, one-room butcher shop where Ray Rastelli, Jr. got his start was once a beloved doughnut shop,” says the team, which has gradually expanded to include a “premium network of sourcing partners” with an emphasis on sustainable meats. Rastelli’s even ships with environmentally friendly materials.
You can shop Porter Road to stock up on classic whole chickens and dry aged ground beef, and that’s all good and well—but we think this meat market really shines in the gift box/kit arena; Consider the sauerkraut and sausage-filled journey of the BYO bun kit. Wunderbar.
Snake River Farms
A river of snakes! Kurobuta pork! Snake River Farms brings the energy, man, and most importantly, they bring the meats. Founded in Boise, Idaho in 1968, these sausage et. al. slingers are eager to answer all of your questions about meat selection, shipping, and company standards, and are offering free two day shipping right now on orders over $149 with the code, SPARKLERS.
Goldbelly specializes in sending out prepared meals from some of the best restaurants in the county, like Momofuku, Cochon Butcher, Russ & Daughters, and more. If you want to order meat online but want a lot of guidance, Goldbelly is for you; It’s like having a world-class chef hold your hand through all the prep, with near-infallible results for even the most kitchen inept who just want to order a bucket of meatballs the size of their face.
Oh, and if you don’t have the grill yet? It might be time for a portable smoker.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. VICE may receive a small commission if you buy through the links on our site.